The high elf on acid who attacked a woman's BMW with a sword

He dropped some acid, dressed up in battle gear, and headed out on the town to play Tolkein. Let's face it, that sounds fun as shit.

The guy who stabbed his friend for not switching positions during a three-way

Hogging all the vagina

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=87b_1367518764

The guys implicated when Suspicious Farmer Busts Alleged Cow Porn Ring

F*** more chicken

The priest who gave holy communion to a dog

Let's get the dog drunk on the blood of Christ! It's all fun and games until someone gets excommunicated. 

The Fargo Man Arrested for Clearing Snow with Flamethrower

I bet this guy knows how to party. 

This guy

A drunk woman who steals 45ft ferry while shouting 'I'm Jack Sparrow'

Deadly nightshade is the new rum.

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/weird-news/drunk-woman-steals-45ft-ferry-1335074

These drunk chicks Fox interviews on live TV (the obvious happens)

Hey Floridians seem to have their shit together. Let's get 'em wasted and put them on live TV. Read Story

The Heroic Man 'High On Meth, Fights Off 15 Police Officers While Masturbating'

He beat them off single-handedly. Read story

The naked man who leads police on rooftop chase

Make the bastards chase you. Read story.

The woman who crashes car while trying to shave privates

Only in Florida. Does anyone else find it ironic that she crashed while trying to make herself a landing strip? Read story

A Florida man who tries trading live gator for beer

If you've read Tim Dorsey, you are now convinced that Coleman is real. Read the story